Rock You Like a Hurricane
by goddess of the water
Summary: Takes place after 2x13...Lily Bass has a secret..and its coming to rock the Upper East Side and change its face forever.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One: Scream**

_Voices in my head_

_Tell me they know best_

_Got me on the edge_

_They're pushing, pushing_

_They're pushing_

_I know they've got a plan_

_But the ball's in my hands_

_This time its man to man_

_I'm driving, fighting inside a_

_World that's upside down_

_And spinning faster_

_What do I do now without you?_

_*************************************************************_

_May 2, 1989_

_New York, NY_

_Lily Rhodes stared at the white stick in total shock. The bright blue plus sign glared up at her, condemning her. Pregnant? How could she be __pregnant?__ Damn Rufus Humphrey for doing this to her! Tears welled up in her eyes as the grim reality of her situation sunk in. She had broken up with Rufus, cheated on him, because of her mother. Of course, Rufus had no idea that Cecilia Rhodes had her claws deep inside her daughter, he just assumed that Lily had left him for another man. Lily just cried harder when it dawned on her that this was essentially true. She left Rufus, left Rufus while carrying something that was at least partly his, left him for money. Lily sank to the floor, rubbing her stomach and trying to stop the constant flow of tears streaming down her cheeks. She needed a plan._

"_Miss Lillian?" The voice of her maid rang out, and the doorknob rattled as she tried to enter the bathroom. "Is everything alright? Your mother sent me to check on you."_

_Lily cleared her throat. "Yes, I'm fine. I'll be down in a minute."_

_She took a deep breath. She had to recover. She couldn't have her mother finding out about this and getting involved. At least until what she decided what to do. She slowly and methodically reapplied her make up, a mask to show the world. No one could know anything about this. She sighed and adjusted her dress in the mirror._

"_C'mon baby, let's go." she murmured as she shut the door behind her._

*************************************************************

November 11th, 2008

San Francisco, California

Samantha Delavan shoved piles upon piles of clothes into her bright green suitcase. She ran around her room, pulling out dresses, skirts, sunglasses, anything that could possibly be necessary in New York. Everything was laid out in every possible place, on her desk, on her bed. Amanda Delavan leaned against the doorframe, watching the child she had raised as if she was her own stress out and sprint around the room.

"You're not _moving _to New York, you know." she said somewhat sadly.

Samantha rolled her chocolate-brown eyes. "I'm going to be there for months. I need a lot of stuff."

"Look, Sammy, you don't have to do this." Her mother pleaded. "There's plenty of opportunity for you here, plenty of auditions-"

"You know as well as I do that's not why I'm going." She snapped, her long blonde hair whipping around her neck as she turned away from the woman who had raised her for the past nineteen years.

"Think about this rationally. You're leaving your friends, your home, your boyfriend. For what?"

Samantha glared at her. "For my family. To find where I came from. And to star in a college production that will advance my chances of doing well at school, and will give me more experience. It's the whole reason that I applied for the spring term instead of fall."

"And your friends? What will you do about them?"

"We've all separated for college. In case you haven't noticed, I'm one of the only ones left."

"What about Chase? Where does he fit into all of this?" Amanda pressed.

"Not that it's any of your business, but we're planning on having a long-term relationship. It's only a few months we'll be apart."

"Then you'll be back in California."

"As far as I know." Samantha muttered.

"And what if they don't accept you? What will you do then? Will all of this be worth it?"

Samantha didn't answer.

"You don't even know if they're still together. They could be on opposite sides of the state. What right do you have to disrupt their lives? They gave you up. They sent you away. Why do you want to meet people who don't want you?"

Samantha blinked back tears. "I do know things. They're both married to different people now."

"Exactly! They're married and probably have children of their own. They gave you up so that you could have another life, a better life." She reached out and touched Samantha's shoulder gently. "Sammy..."

"No! I'm going, and you can't stop me! I earned the money to go. I got the part." She paused. "If you loved me like you say you do, than you would be proud of me and the way I worked my ass off for this. You'd want me to know where I came from, want me to explore my past simply because that's what _I _want. And if you had raised me with even a little bit of that love, than you'd be sure that I'd come back when I was ready."

Amanda was silent at this. The room remained trapped in awkward silence until Samantha stormed out, slamming the door behind her.

*************************************************************

_September 20__th__, 1989_

_New York, NY_

_It had been a little more than four months since Lily had found out about her condition, and she was still without any plan as to what to do. She studied herself critically in the mirror. She had developed a medium sized bump, but she had been very careful to buy her clothes bigger so that it went unnoticed. Lily also really needed to find something to do about her mother. CeCe had become even more suspicious of her since she had abruptly stopped living the groupie life and moved back home, seemingly embracing the traditional Upper East Side lifestyle she had long abhorred. Lily had agreed to every one of her mother's requests, every date and every party without fail. As much as she couldn't stand it, even she realized that the Upper East Side was much better for her and her unborn baby than a succession of grungy, grimy rock stars carrying god-knows-what. Unfortunately, all of Lily's efforts just made CeCe more and more wary and on the look out for any misbehavior. _

_Lily also faced a dilemma when it came to telling the baby's father about his new child. She knew somewhere deep down inside that the baby growing inside her was a Humphrey, even with all of the other men who she had been with after Rufus, just because of the timing. Sadly, that bit of insight did not give her any ideas on how to inform said Humphrey about his impending fatherhood. Especially since the latest gossip she had heard revolved around Rufus's newest girlfriend, some artist. Lily couldn't help scoffing. Once this mess was over with, she fully intended to show that woman the full extent of Lily Rhodes' wrath. She vaguely heard a key in the lock of the door downstairs and figured her mother had returned home. Lily sighed and looked at the calendar. She had another doctor's appointment in two weeks. By then, Lily needed to have some idea of what to do about this baby. She caressed her stomach, wondering vaguely whether her child (their child) was a boy or a girl. Her mind floated through a list of baby names. She had always loved Anthony or Ethan for a boy, and was sorely tempted to name the baby after herself if it was a girl. Serena was tempting too. She tried very hard to eliminate the names Rufus had always liked._

"_Well, baby." She said quietly. "You definitely won't be a Cecilia." _

_As if the woman herself had heard her comment, a sharp knock sounded on the door._

"_Yes?" Lily inquired._

"_Miss Lillian, your mother would like to see you." The maid said._

_Lily groaned loudly. "Tell her I'm sleeping."_

"_She says it's urgent."_

_Lily rolled her eyes at her reflection. "Alright, I'm on my way."_

_She pulled her clothes back on, rubbed her stomach once for good measure, and went to face the music. _

_Lily descended the stairs, her heart pounding as she spotted her mother sitting almost regally in her normal spot in the living room. She took a deep breath, determined to remain composed._

"_Mother, you wanted to see me?" she said, trying to smile normally._

_Cecilia Rhodes looked up at her daughter, her eyes cold. "Yes. Sit down, Lillian."_

_Lily sat down across from her mother nervously. _

"_You haven't been feeling well lately." Cecilia said. "Elizabeth has said you've been sleeping more than usual, eating less."_

_Lily's breathing started to increase rapidly. _

"_I thought at first that it was a virus, something making its way around the city." she continued, seemingly oblivious to Lily's nervousness. "Then I noticed that you had gained a significant amount of weight."_

"_Mother!" Lily exclaimed, trying her hardest to sound offended._

_Cecilia pretended not to notice her outburst. "How do you think this could be?"_

"_Oh mother, its probably just one of those silly sicknesses going around. Jennifer Francis was sick just last week with similar symptoms." Lily lied. "I'm sure it will pass."_

"_That is the __only__ possible explanation?"_

"_Yes, of course."_

"_Would this also, then, explain why a doctor that I have never heard of left a message on our answering machine reminding you of your sonogram next week?" Cecilia questioned._

"_Well, you see, I made an appointment with Dr. Olivier because Dr. Currington was not available. He must have gotten me mixed up with another patient."_

"_Another patient that has been living a rather unhealthy lifestyle as of late, does not sleep regularly, and has recently moved back in with her mother, who her bills are addressed to? That has . . . " She paused to pick up the file sitting on the table next to her and flip through it. "No intention of identifying the father, but can reveal that he is a healthy, twenty year old male with no diseases to speak of?"_

_Lily sucked in a breath. "How did you get my file?"_

"_Darling, the Rhodes family has connections everywhere. The real question is, how long did you think you could keep this from me? Until you went into labor and had to catch a taxi to the hospital?"_

_Lily did not respond, biting her lip._

"_Do you know the identity of the father?"_

"_Of course." Lily said reluctantly._

"_It's that Humphrey character, isn't it?" When Lily again refused to respond, Cecilia clicked her tongue scoldingly. "So much for no diseases to speak of . . . that man probably has thousands."_

"_Mother! That's just unnecessary."_

_Cecilia ignored this. "Well, you must know that the only option is to get rid of it."_

_Lily could almost feel her heart stop. "G-get rid of it?"_

"_Don't be stubborn, darling. It's the only way to ensure that no one finds out about this little, ah, mishap. Everything has just begun to work out for you. William Van der Woodsen is courting you-"_

"_I don't care about William Van der Woodsen! I care about my baby. You're not __killing__ it."_

"_So what are you going to do? Run over to Rufus Humphrey's dingy apartment, tell him everything? Do you really think he'll take you back after all that you've done to him? After you chose your inheritance over him? The inheritance which, if you remember correctly, I control for at least the next year?"_

"_There has to be another way. A better way." When Cecilia did not show any reaction to this, Lily continued earnestly. "I'll have my baby, and give it to loving parents once it is born. There has to be a couple you know that needs a child..."_

_Cecilia looked thoughtful. "Catherine Delavan's daughter just found out she was infertile. That could work."_

_Lily grasped onto the idea. "I could go to Switzerland so that I can have the baby without arising suspicion. The Delavans can take her from there."_

"_What about your Humphrey? You don't think he deserves a say in this?" Cecilia said, derision evident in her voice._

"_Rufus would understand." Lily said quietly. Cecilia nodded. "Than I'd say we've reached a decision. I'll have Elizabeth pack your things as soon as possible."_

_Lily nodded silently, managing to make it up to her room before she collapsed. _

_************************************************************_

November 11th, 2008

San Francisco, CA

Samantha made it out of her house and down the street to the park that was the location of all of her mental breakdowns before collapsing onto a wooden bench, her head in her hands. Her conversation with Amanda brought all of her insecurities about her family and the trip to the surface. She sighed, reaching for the business card stashed, as it always was, in her jeans pocket. Samantha clutched it for support, trying to reassure herself that she was doing the right thing, that she could do this. She couldn't help smiling at Bart Bass's address, sitting innocently in the palm of her hand. It hadn't been easy getting the personal office of "Big Bad Bart", but apparently she had underestimated the respect the Delavan name commanded all over the United States.

Even still, this was beyond plans and phone calls now. This was it, the main event. Samantha almost couldn't believe that the time to leave was almost here, that after months of working and planning she was actually going, going to New York to meet the mother and father she had never known. The emotion that overcame her at the thought was too much to bear, a combination of fear and overwhelming joy. Her plan had a 50/50 chance of failing miserably, as Amanda had predicted, or working and giving her everything she had always dreamt of. Samantha sat there for what felt like hours, unable to stop the tears from flowing down her cheeks, until finally, she took a deep breath and stood. There was still a lot to do before her plane was to take off in the morning, she had to finish packing and get ready for her date with Chase later that evening. Samantha couldn't help smiling at the thought of her boyfriend, who had been her inspiration for planning the trip and auditioning for _Anastasia._ Maybe she should call him, just to check on plans.

Grinning widely now, Samantha pressed "Send" and placed the phone to her ear. After the phone rang two or three times, she looked around in confusion as she swore she heard Chase's ringtone off in the distance. Samantha's mood instantly improved when she saw him, standing only a few feet from her on the path leading towards the woods. He always did have a knack for being there whenever she really needed him. As she started towards him, she caught a glimpse of another person, her arms wrapped around Chase's waist. She watched in disbelief as Chase picked the girl up off of the ground and spun her around before kissing her soundly on the lips. Growing angrier by the second, Samantha dialed his number again and stormed towards the "happy couple".

She heard Chase sigh as he pulled out his phone.

"Sammy again." he complained.

"Just ignore her." the girl pleaded, running her fingers throughChase's hair.

"I'm sure it's nothing important." he mumbled, leaning towards the girl to kiss her again.

"Nothing important?" Samantha fumed, shoving Chase from behind.

Chase turned rapidly to look at her. "S-Sam-Sammy this isn't what it looks like."

"Really?" She asked sarcastically, shoving him again. "Because it looks like you're cheating on me with some skank!"

"Hey!" the girl objected. Chase looked over at her apologetically.

"How could you do this to me Chase? After everything we've been through together? You told me you loved me, and this is how you choose to throw it back in my face?!"

"I do love you, babe." he mumbled, obviously out of it as he attempted to touch her gently, comfortingly.

Samantha slapped his hand away. "Don't you dare touch me. Don't come near me. We're over. Done. You and your skank can get back to whatever it was you were doing." Then, with as much dignity as she could muster, Samantha turned and walked away from Chase without looking back. She made herself walk until she got to the entrance of the park before breaking into a sprint, running until she reached her room and was able to slam and lock the door behind her. Hands shaking, she dumped every single article of clothing out of each of her suit cases and began to refold them, one by one. By the time Chase would have been picking her up for their date, Samatha had reorganized her entire room.

*************************************************************

_August 1__st__, 1989_

_Newark, New Jersey_

_Lily was barely coherent as her mother and Elizabeth half-dragged her through Newark airport. James Delavan had sent a car to transport the family from the Rhodes penthouse in the heart of New York City to New Jersey, where he and his private jet were waiting to whisk the family off to Switzerland for a "family vacation". Cecilia was happy to accept this lie, she had been rambling for days about the important people she was planning on meeting, the places she was to see. Lily couldn't stand to hear any of it. She was to spend the next four months in seclusion, essentially, while waiting for her baby to be born and delivered straight into Amanda Delavan's impatient, twitchy, too skinny arms. Lily couldn't help stroking her stomach reassuringly, telling her baby girl that everything was going to be alright. That Mommy loved her no matter where she was going, or what everyone said. _

_Once on the plane, Lily buckled her seatbelt and stared out the window broodingly. Her mother had quickly abandoned her, chatting amiably with Catherine Delavan about all of her acquantinces in Switzerland. Lily was simply alone with her thoughts, mostly daydreams. Sighing, she watched New York fade into the distance as she dreamed of life with Rufus, life as Lily Rhodes-Humphrey, life with a beautiful baby girl named Samantha. She never could have guessed that a little more than nineteen years from this point, this same beautiful girl would be watching the same skies, about to turn her life upside down. _


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Wait**

_Wait_

_Wait for the dawn, my dear_

_Wait til the sun gets here_

_And you will wait too long_

_He will be gone_

_Wait_

_Wait til the sun shines through_

_Wait til the sky is blue_

_And you will wait too long_

_He will be gone_

_He will be gone_

_November 11__th__, 2008_

_New York, NY_

Samantha was overwhelmed from the moment she disembarked from Flight 222 at LaGuardia Airport. Crowds of people swarmed around and outside of the gate, and she had to pirouette on her toes to look for her director, who she was supposed to be staying with while in the city. Well, during the time of the show, that is. Hopefully by the time the show ends, she will have found her family and preferably have a more permanent place to stay.

"Samantha?" a voice questioned from close behind her. Samantha spun in shock and turned to face the sound. A fairly tall man with red curly hair smiled, his eyes welcoming.

"Yes?" she asked, confused as to how he knew her.

"I'm Damien Wright, the director of _Anastasia." _the man said. Samantha cringed as he smiled even wider, his smile giving off that air of creepiness that only certain people possessed. She looked him over, noticing the sign in his hands proving his identity.

"Oh! It's so nice to meet you!" She replied, reaching a hand out to shake his. Damien placed a kiss on her outstretched hand instead, and she flinched at the feel of his chapped, scratchy lips. "Trust me, the _pleasure_ is all mine." He paused awkwardly. "We'll be going to the apartment after I find your roommate, the only other person not from the New York area. What's your story, anyway?"

"I'm sorry?"

"What brings a pretty California girl like you all the way here to be in a production? Surely you made the cut somewhere in the Sunshine State?"

"I wanted something new." Samantha explained, but Damien was already turning to greet a raven-haired girl pushing her way towards them.

"Cheyenne!" Damien greeted with a grin, hugging the girl tightly to him.

Cheyenne grimaced at Samantha over her shoulder as she hugged him back, albeit with a lot less enthusiasm. Once Damien let go, Cheyenne turned to Samantha with a mischievous smile on her dark red lips. "You must be the blonde angel I've heard so much about."

Samantha blushed. "What?"

"Cheyenne's brother is the casting director, he's the one who found you in California. I have to say, I trust his judgement a lot more now." Damian said before Cheyenne could reply.

"Yeah, and a freshman has never gotten the lead role before, so you've some big expectations to fulfill."Cheyenne warned.

Samantha focused on keeping her footing and did not respond. She had her own expectations for this trip, and wished that it was in her power to make sure that they were fulfilled.

Cheyenne and Damien continued talking as they headed toward baggage claim. Samantha found her bag relatively easily, and checked her pocket for the business card out of habit. Her hand was clutching the familiar piece of paper when Cheyenne tapped her on the shoulder.

"Blondie? Hello? I've been trying to get your attention forever! We need to peace out, we've got my stuff."

Samantha smirked at her. "Blondie?"

Cheyenne grinned. "Fair enough." She stuck out a pale white hand with jet black, chipped polish on its nails. "Cheyenne Williams."

Samantha shook her hand, her smirk widening as Cheyenne took in her perfectly manicured nails. "Samantha Delavan, but not for much longer."

"Oh, don't give me that artist crap about 'assuming the identity of the character'."

"That's actually not what I was talking about."

Cheyenne studied her for a moment. "Getting married, Blondie?"

Samantha grimaced. "God, no."

"Ladies, if we don't hurry up than you will have to go to the first rehearsal with all of your things. Literally, you will be wearing every single one." Damien shouted from a few feet ahead of them.

"Don't pretend you wouldn't rather them all be off Damien!" Cheyenne said with a roll of her eyes. "C'mon, Blondie, duty calls."

Samantha sighed, shouldering her bag and following her new roommates out of the airport. She jumped into a taxi, placed awkwardly between Damien and Cheyenne. Cheyenne gave her a sympathetic look as Damien swung an arm around Samantha's shoulder and pulled her close. Samantha tried desperately not to inhale, but the fifteen minute drive made it impossible to ignore the smell vaguely resembling cheese emanating off of him.

"We're going to have so much fun!" he exclaimed as they got out of the taxi. Samantha's heart pounded as she exited the taxi to a perfect view of the New York skyline. She glanced around in awe.

"Have you ever been to New York?" Cheyenne asked skeptically.

Samantha shook her head. "Never."

"Well, welcome to the city that never sleeps. Literally. Damien snores."

Samantha laughed loudly as they headed inside, lugging their bags up two flights of stairs before reaching their room.

"Rehearsal in half an hour ladies!" Damien warned as he opened the room next to theirs and slammed the door behind him. The two girls shared a smile before entering their own room. Cheyenne claimed the bed by the window, while Samantha set her suitcase on the bed next to the wall.

"You ready for the read through?" Cheyenne asked conversationally as Samantha shoved her suitcase off of her bed and collapsed onto it.

"Mmmgh." Samantha groaned. "No."

"Well, it is in two hours."

"Does that give me time to sleep?" she asked, her eyes heavy.

"A few minutes." Cheyenne said. "Then we should probably leave. Damien's probably there already, obsessing..."

Samantha laughed as she closed her eyes, drifting quietly off to sleep and wondering vaguely how to get to Wall Street from this apartment.

_December 11__th__, 2008_

_New York, NY_

The next month was a blur of play read throughs, rehearsals, and memorizing of lines. Samantha had to keep putting off her visit to Bass Industries because of being busy, every time she tried to get away Damien had some scene to go over or Cheyenne had some line she wanted to practice. Samantha loved her role as Anastasia, and laughed at the fact that Cheyenne was cast as her grandmother, so practicing lines with her new roommate was less of an obligation as it was enjoyable and fun. Plus, with the first show only days away, Samantha needed all the practice she could get.

"So, where did you get that amazing voice from anyway?" Cheyenne questioned.

"Well, I don't know, I was adopted..."Samantha hedged.

"Aha!"

"What?"

"That's why you're here. Your family's in New York! You're here to find them!" Cheyenne exclaimed.

Samantha looked at her skeptically. "How in the world did you get that?"

Cheyenne stared at her very suspicious roommate innocently. "Lucky guess?"

When Samantha's expression failed to change, Cheyenne relented. "Okay, okay. I may or may not have seen a birth certificate or something like it fall out of your suitcase the other day."

"That's more like it." Samantha sighed. "And yes, that's why I'm here. Why are you?"

"I hate my parents, and they hate me. I went a little too wild for their tastes."

"Oh, I know the feeling. The woman that adopted me is 'Miss High Society' in LA. It's awful. Where are you from?"

"Washington." Cheyenne said. "Not much excitement there. Somehow, no one liked it when I tried to create my own."

Both girls laughed openly at this.

"So, you have a game plan yet?" Cheyenne inquired.

"A game plan?"

"You know, something that's gonna help you find these people. Do you even know where they live?"

Samantha shrugged.

Cheyenne grinned at her indulgently. "C'mon, you know you want to tell me what you know about them."

Samantha shifted on her bed uncomfortably. "Well, when my mom had me, her name was Lily Rhodes. She was twenty, and I was born in France. So I assume the pregnancy wasn't exactly...expected."

"Do you know where she is now?"

"Well, if she gave me to Amanda, the woman I was with in LA, she must have some 'high society connection'. Amanda wouldn't have taken a baby from just anyone. She's too snobby for that. It took her years to find one."

"It must have devastated her when you left." Cheyenne mused.

Samantha shrugged again. "I doubt it. We didn't have the best relationship in the world. I'm sure she's fine."

"So...hmm. Lily Rhodes. Did you find anything on her now?"

"In a vague sort of way. The most promising thing I found was this blonde photographer who was a groupie for a bunch of different bands. She was especially famous for one of the lead singer of Lincoln Hawk, Rufus Humphrey."

"Your father." Cheyenne guessed.

Samantha nodded. "And the article I found said she was about to be married to Bart Bass, the big corporation mogul."

"Bass Industries is probably two or three blocks from here. I don't think 'Big Bad Bart' is going to give you much information though."

Samantha grinned wickedly. "I have my ways."

Cheyenne was silent for a moment before speaking again. "Let's do it."

"Now?!" Samantha asked, eyes wide.

"Yes, now! What's stopping you? We have rehearsals round the clock after today, and shows pretty soon after that. There's no day but today, my friend. I can cover for you for today, and possibly tomorrow if you're really nice to me."

Samantha took a deep breath to calm the butterflies in her stomach as she processed her roommate's logic. "Okay. Tell me where to go."

Samantha clutched the business card tightly in her fist as she sped through the streets of New York. She simply started out the window of the cab, contemplating what to possibly say to one of the most powerful and influential businessmen in the world and wondering what, if anything, would motivate him to tell her any bit of the information she needed. She somehow couldn't imagine him being the sort of person that would open his heart to the poor, adopted girl that wanted to go home.

"Honey, we're here!" the cab driver yelled as the car bounced to a halt. "Unless you want to stay, I can show you a good time."

Samantha rolled her eyes as she handed over her money. "Nice try." She got out of the cab and looked up at the building in trepidation. She was overwhelmed as she entered, but somehow managed to put on her most winning smile and make her way to the security guard blocking the stairs.

"Is Bart Bass in?" she asked sweetly.

The security guard stared at her as if she was crazy.

"Is he in a meeting? Because I can wait, I have urgent business to speak to him about."

"Do you live under a rock or something?" the man questioned skeptically.

"Um, no? I just arrived here from LA..." Samantha answered, confused.

"Bart Bass died three days ago. He's been six feet under for two."

Samantha felt the breath she had been holding leave her shakily. "W-What? Dead? How?"

"Car accident." The man glanced at the girl near hyperventilation suspiciously. "What exactly did you need from him?"

"An address. I might be able to find what I'm looking for upstairs..." she suggested, moving as if to go around him.

"Sorry, sweetheart. I've been given specific instructions to let no one upstairs."

Samantha nodded, pretending to know that the guard wanted her gone as she spotted a limping teenage boy headed towards them. His presence immediately distracted the guard, and Samantha took the opportunity to run up the stairs. She was too focused on her destination to notice the boy's cold black eyes follow her. Once she had cleared the stairs, she bolted for the empty office, the only room in the hall. At the door she slowed down and tried to enter somewhat reverently, remembering suddenly that the former occupant was _very _recently deceased. Samantha looked through each piece of paper on the desk, finding nothing resembling a home address. She glanced around and was intrigued by the photo frame stuffed into a drawer, its silver edge sticking out as if it had been shoved hurriedly out of sight. Samantha opened the drawer and pulled it out, her breath catching in her throat as she read the inscription: "Congratulations: Lily and Bart Bass. 5/18/08". She was immediately drawn to the blonde woman in the wedding dress, a lump forming in her throat as she realized that this was _her, _Lily Rhodes, her _mother. _She stared at the photo, transfixed, until the loud sound of footsteps echoed on the stairs. She threw down the photo in paranoia and ran for the door, for escape. She ran for it with all her might, running so hard that the tears in her eyes blurred her vision. She didn't notice the figure standing with its arms crossed over his chest, and ran straight into him. The force knocked both to the ground, and Samantha ended up almost completely on top of the person she had hit. Once she had recovered enough to lift her head off of his chest, she was shocked to recognize the teenage boy from downstairs.

The boy groaned in obvious pain and looked up to stare at his attacker. His shock turned to a smirk when he noticed Samantha's long legs tangled with his own. Samantha blushed furiously when his dark eyes met hers.

"I am _so _sorry." she apologized, standing up and offering her hand to the boy. "I had no clue where I was going."

The boy took her hand and smirked as she struggled to pull him to his feet.

"You should be lucky you're so hot, or else I would be asking you what in the world you're doing in my late father's office." he stated, stroking her hand softly and ignoring her attempt at an apology.

"I'm so sorry." Samantha said quietly. "Well, at least your father wanted you."

The boy scoffed. "Hardly. The man hated me."

"At least you knew him. Mine doesn't know I exist at all." Samantha replied, unsure of why she was confiding all of this in a strange boy with compelling eyes.

The smirk was back this time. "A gorgeous woman with daddy-issues. Just what I need to improve my morale. Allow me to properly introduce myself." He paused to place a gentle kiss on Samantha's hand that was still intertwined with his.

"I'm Chuck Bass."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Apologize**

_I take another chance_

_Take a fall, take a shot for you_

_I need you like a heart needs a beat_

_But its nothing new_

_Yeah, yeah_

_I loved you with a fire and_

_Now it's turning blue_

_And you say sorry like the angel_

_Heaven let me think was you_

_But I'm afraid_

_Its too late too apologize_

_Its too late_

_************************************************************_

_December 12__th__, 2008_

_New York, NY_

_Palace Hotel_

Samantha groaned as the bright light of the sun streamed through the window and disturbed her sleep. She turned over only to bump a person sleeping next to her. Disoriented, she opened her eyes and had to stifle a shriek when she saw the naked boy laying next to her. What was his name again? Samantha looked down at herself with trepidation and was not surprised to find that she was not wearing anything either. She groggily reached for a sheet and wrapped it around herself before easing out of bed to find her clothes. She easily spotted her dress from the night before, her underwear littered around it. Cringing, Samantha slid her underwear on before sliding her dress on over it. She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and immediately ran her fingers through her disheveled hair, wondering how obvious it would be to others that she was doing the Walk of Shame. Samantha turned back to the boy in bed and was surprised to find him smirking at her.

"Leaving so soon?" he asked suggestively.

"Um, I think so. I have, you know, play stuff to do today." Samantha stammered, trying to stare at anything but him.

"I ordered breakfast." he said, his smirk widening. He stood up and walked towards her, fisting a hand in her long, blonde hair. "Or we could go another round, if you're not hungry for food."

"I don't know if that's such a good id..." Samantha started, but was interrupted by the boy's lips pressing fervently against her own. Unable to resist, Samantha returned the kiss and allowed the boy to lead her back towards the bed as his hand found the zipper of her dress.

"Wait." she breathed. "What was your name again?"

"Somebody can't hold their liquor." the boy whispered in an amused tone as he pushed Samantha's dress all the way off. His hand reached for her underwear and he continued "I'm Chuck Bass."

Samantha groaned softly. "Well... I bet you don't remember me either."

"Oh, I remember you." Chuck breathed. "I remember you very, _very, _well." And with that, Samantha and Chuck repeated the activity that had taken up so much of their time the night before.

"You're kind of amazing." Samantha sighed as she sipped the orange juice that had been brought in with their breakfast.

"I get that a lot." Chuck replied.

Samantha rolled her eyes. "I'm sure you do." Inspired all of a sudden, she placed her orange juice on the night stand and settled on top of Chuck. He grinned lazily as she kissed him again.

"Insatiable woman." he pretended to complain as he pulled her further against him. After a moment, Chuck rolled back over so that he was once again on top of Samantha.

"Chuck?!" a male voice exclaimed from the doorway.

Chuck looked up from Samantha and rolled off of her suddenly. "Nathaniel?"

"Chuck, what are you doing? Who is she?"

Samantha flushed as the boy Chuck called 'Nathaniel' looked at her with disgust. She quickly slid under the blankets.

"I came to check on you, Chuck. I thought you might need a friend."

"Well, as you can see, I've found one, so if you could leave us in peace we would much appreciate it." Chuck explained, the lazy grin back on his face.

"C'mon, Chuck. Do you even know her name? What about Blair?" Nate asked, a skeptical look on her face.

"Of course I know her name, Nathaniel. It's...well, you know, its..." Chuck started, his memory failing him.

"Samantha." Samantha volunteered, poking her head out of the blanket for a second.

"Uhhuh." Nate responded. "Well, I would leave if I were you Sam. Chuck and I have some things to take care of."

Samantha nodded slowly, grabbing her things and heading for the bathroom on the other side of the street.

"Chuck, you can't keep doing this. Drinking every night, ending up god-knows-where." She heard Nate explain in a gentle tone to Chuck.

"I'm in my suite. That hardly constitutes somewhere I don't know."

"Your father's will is being read today. Officially."

"I'll be ready in ten." Chuck said, downing a shot glass full of scotch.

"Okay. I'll meet you downstairs then." Nate said, sounding suspicious of Chuck's agreeable response.

Samantha headed out of the suite without a word to Chuck, who was too busy drinking as much scotch as possible to see her leave. She blushed as she came to stand next to Nate, who was also waiting for the elevator to go downstairs.

"Hi." She greeted. He glanced over at her before looking back towards the elevator.

"I'm Samantha. And this isn't the kind of thing I normally do. In case you were wondering. Which you probably weren't. But you have this look on your face like 'She's such a whore' and I just wanted you to know that I wouldn't have done this had I been a bit less stressed out and my boyfriend hadn't just cheated on me with this skanky girl. He told me he loved me, you know. And I've never been to New York, and Chuck is very persuasive..." Samantha rambled, suddenly very, very nervous.

Nate raised his eyebrows at her and let out a very short laugh as they stepped into the elevator. "Okay then. I, uh, officially no longer think that you are a whore."

Samantha giggled. "Why thank you, I, um... appreciate it?"

Nate stuck out a hand for her to shake. "Nate Archibald."

She took it and shook it gently. "Samantha Delavan."

Nate was so distracted by the blonde beauty that he didn't notice the brunette girl watching them suspiciously and leaning towards them to snap a photo of the two with her phone.

"I'm very glad you're not a whore." he joked. "And for what its worth, your boyfriend is a crazy person if he cheated on you."

Samantha grinned, ducking her head in embarrassment.

"Hey, don't be embarrassed. You're a very pretty girl. I mean, you'd have to be to get in Chuck Bass's favor."

"Somehow, I don't think that's too hard to do." Samantha replied with a wicked smirk.

"True. But Chuck hasn't touched a girl since, well, since Mr. Bass passed. Something about you must have attracted him."

Samantha couldn't help but be happy about the attention this really _cute _New York boy was giving her, even though she had more important things to focus on. Such as the heart attack Damien was going to have if she was late...Damien! Samantha checked her phone and cursed silently to herself.

"What is it?" Nate asked, noticing her distress.

"Nothing, I'm just late. Really late actually." she explained as she rushed away from him. "I'm in a play, and it's kind of important that I'm there in the next ten minutes."

"Well, it was nice to meet you!" Nate called after her.

"Thanks!" she shouted back, earning a glare from the concierge. "You too!"

"It was _very _nice to _meet you._" Chuck shouted too, the innuendo obvious in his tone.

Samantha waved back at him with a grin before stepping into a cab and speeding away, the seconds to eleven AM slipping away from her.

_************************************************************_

_December 12, 2008_

_New York, NY_

_Bass Penthouse, earlier that same morning._

Lily Van der Woodsen awoke with a start, having to look around the room to remind her of where she was. She processed her surroundings and realized that everything was fine; she was safe in the penthouse that had been her home for the past six months or so. She slowly slid out of bed, still a bit shaky. That was the third time she had been forced to endure the nightmare of the accident. The dream always started out the same. She was at the Snowflake Ball, wrapped in Rufus Humphrey's arms and swaying slowly to the music. Then she would notice Bart in the background and attempt to walk over to him, but he would keep disappearing and reappearing in different corners of the room. Suddenly, Bart would appear in front of her, drenched in blood as he was the night he died. He would whisper all that he knew about her past and about her baby and then disappear again as Rufus walked over too, a look full of pain on his face.

"Just tell me one thing. Was it a boy or a girl?" Rufus would always hiss, and then disappear too, leaving her alone in the middle of the dance floor, her gorgeous white dress covered in Bart's blood.

Lily shuddered violently at the mental image that wouldn't leave her alone. Not surprisingly, the image that stuck with her was not the appearance of her dead husband, or even the blood staining the dress she had put so much effort into picking out. It was Rufus's face, a mirror of his pain-filled expression from that night of the train station. The ache accompanying this image was two-fold: the way she had hurt Rufus by keeping things from him; and the fact that although it had been a mere four days since the loss of her husband, Rufus Humphrey and his pain was the thing on her mind. She was distracted from her thoughts as Eric knocked gently on the door before entering the room.

"Are you okay?" her son asked softly as he came to stand next to her. "I heard you scream."

Lily smiled at him. "I'm okay, bad dream."

"You've been like this for almost a week." He observed. "Are you sure that you should have sent Grandma home?"

Lily's eyes narrowed at the mention of CeCe. "I really can't deal with her right now."

"Have you talked to Rufus?" Eric asked.

"Rufus has no interest in speaking to me right now, and I don't particularly want to see him. Thanks for your concern, but I'm really fine." Lily replied, with a tone indicating that this was to be the end of the conversation.

Eric nodded, resigned, and left the room. As soon as he knew he was out of earshot, he dialed his best friend's number and waited impatiently until she picked up.

"Hello?" Jenny Humphrey greeted cheerfully.

"Hey, Jen, its Eric." He said, sitting down onto his bed and sighing.

"Hey. What's going on? It's a little early for you to be awake. You have plans with Jonathan?"

"No. My mother's screaming woke me up."

"Oh, man. She's still really upset, huh."

"Yeah, she's pretty messed up right now. But of course, her being her, she won't admit anything. Except that I don't exactly think it's about Bart anymore."

"What would it be about then?" Jenny asked, confused.

"I think it has to do with your dad."

"Dad? Why?"

"I mentioned him this morning, wanting to know if they'd talked. They did just admit their _undying love _for each other, so I figured he would be helping her out. All she said is that your dad wasn't speaking to her."

"That's odd." Jenny said, sounding bemused. "I can try to figure out what's going on if you want."

"Can you just try and get him to talk to her? I'm getting really worried." Eric admitted.

"I'll talk to him once he's up. It is the crack of dawn, you know."

"Speaking of, what are you doing up so early?" he questioned.

"Sketching out some new designs in case Eleanor's vacation and her good mood make her want to give me my job back." Jenny replied, smiling though Eric couldn't see her.

"Ah. Well, Jonathan's on the other line, I'll call you back."

"What is Jonathan doing up at this hour? Are you people crazy?" Jenny teased.

"Bye, Jen." Eric said pointedly as he hung up.

*****************************************************

_December 12, 2008_

_New York, NY_

_Humphrey Loft_

Jenny sighed as she closed her phone and went back to surveying the dress she was creating. However, Eric's comments kept distracting her, making her unable to concentrate. She wouldn't say she knew Lily Bass very well, but being unable to hide how she was feeling certainly didn't seem like her. Neither did having night terrors and waking the whole house. After a few moments of thinking, she exited her room quietly and headed for her father's. Rufus was still in bed, but wasn't asleep when she entered; he was just staring at the ceiling, looking as if he was deep in thought. He looked over at Jenny as he entered and tried to smile. Jenny noticed immediately that this smile was a shadow of how it had been even four days ago, the day of the funeral. His guitar and suitcase still sat in the middle of the room, looking as if they hadn't been touched at all since Dan had brought them in.

"Hey, Jen. What are you doing up so early?" he asked.

"I could ask you the same thing." She responded as she sat down on the bed next to him. "But since you are, we need to talk."

Rufus sat up too, worry in his tone as he said "Okay, about what?"

Jenny took a deep breath. "Well, its about Lily."

Rufus closed his eyes for a moment in frustration. "Jen, I know Dan has probably told you everything that happened the day of the funeral. It just isn't going to work out between Lily and me. It just wasn't meant to be."

"Dad, I'm going to ignore how untrue that statement is and just tell you that whatever happened between you, you're one of her oldest friends. Probably one of her only true friends. And she's really, really upset right now. Eric said she hasn't slept or eaten since the funeral, and that when she does sleep she wakes up with night terrors."

Despite himself, Rufus felt a wave of concern sweep through him. Lily rarely had nightmares, but when she did they normally devastated her.

"And I know you're mad at her or whatever, but Eric specifically asked me to talk to you about it. She apparently mentioned to him that you two aren't exactly on the greatest terms. Dad, she sent her mother home, Serena's in Argentina with awful cell service, and she won't confide in Eric. I don't know what this is about, but if you could please just talk to her. If not for her sake, do it for mine." Jenny begged.

Rufus sighed. "I'll head over there once it's normal for people to be awake."

"She's up." Jenny informed him with an indulgent smile. Rufus pulled himself out of bed at that and headed for the dresser. If he was going to do this, he certainly wasn't going to show Lily Van der Woodsen how much pain she'd put him in these past few days.

**************************************************

_December 12__th__, 2008_

_New York, NY_

_Waldorf Penthouse_

Blair Waldorf awoke the morning of December 12th feeling particularly optimistic, which was unlike her. Nate had just called, confirming that Chuck was alive, in his suite, and only relatively hung over; which meant that he would actually go to the reading of his father's will without having to be dragged there by force and embarrassing himself even further. As annoying as it was that Chuck had seemingly made a recovery without her help, Blair couldn't help but be grateful to whoever or whatever had brought Chuck out of his rut. Yes, Blair Waldorf was convinced that things were on the up and up, and that Chuck would realize that she could and would be there for him after she let him get his destruction out of the way. Well, Blair Waldorf approved destruction of course. She was convinced that she was going to have a good day. Until, of course, her phone buzzed with a text from Gossip Girl. A full-blown photo of Nate and a blonde giggling outside of The Palace greeted her. She rolled her eyes. It would be _so _like Nate to get distracted when she gave him one specific job to do. Blair continued to read the post and became more and more confused as she did so.

"_Spotted at the Palace Hotel. Nate Archibald and Serena Van der Woodsen getting cozy in the lobby. Isn't she supposed to be in Argentina with her new beau? What will our Queen B think of this new development? Xoxo, Gossip Girl_."

Blair rolled her eyes. Honestly, some people were just so gullible. Serena was, in fact, still in Argentina, which Blair had confirmed herself the night before through their payphone conversation. Blair shuddered at the thought of using a payphone, and was about to text Gossip Girl to tell her to watch her sources when another message came through. Intrigued, Blair opened the message and felt her throat tighten as she read:

"_This just in. A very knowledgeable source tells me that 'Serena' is not Serena at all. Our dear S is still in Argentina. This source also informed me that Wannabe Serena spent the night in the Bass Suite with the infamous Bass himself. Don't believe me? Melanie91 sent proof. Thanks for the photo, Mel. Who is this knockoff and does she honestly think she can wrap the most sought after UES men around her little finger? Putting out an APB, Gossip Girl."_

Nearly shaking with anger, Blair stared at the photo, which showed Chuck and the blonde with arms around each other about to enter the elevator at the Palace. She quickly dialed Nate, needing confirmation that this rumor was in fact true.

"Blair, I told you Chuck was fine. He just went into the lawyer's office." Nate said without even the most simple of greetings.

"Was there a girl with her last night?" Blair demanded.

"There was, but I don't think she meant anything Blair. You shouldn't be worried."

"This is the first girl he's been with since Bart passed. Obviously, there's something significant about her."

"Sam's a nice girl, leave her alone." Nate ordered.

"Oh, so you like her too, then." Blair snapped, jealous in spite of herself.

"That's not what I said. Look, Chuck and Sam got drunk last night. I don't know how they know each other, but Sam doesn't deserve this. Okay?"

"Oh, don't worry Nate. I'm not going to do anything." Blair lied sweetly.

Nate shook his head as the dial tone sounded. He knew that tone. He just hoped that Samantha was fully equipped to deal with the tornado that was a Blair Waldorf scorned.

*********************************************

_December 12__th__, 2008_

_New York, NY_

_Bass Penthouse_

Lily surveyed herself in the mirror critically. The black dress she had chosen clung to each curve perfectly, her hair perfectly curled, and her make up was flawless. She could feel nothing but disgust as she looked at her reflection, unable to place when her life had become so complicated. All of the mistakes she had made were coming back to haunt her, and combining to cause even graver consequences than before. If only she had told Rufus while it was on her own terms. Even if it had been twenty years too late. He would still be angry with her, but at least it wouldn't have fallen to her _mother _to tell him about their daughter. A gentle knock came against the bathroom door and she was pulled out of her self-deprecating thoughts.

"I'll be right out, Eric." she called.

"It isn't Eric." A familiar voice replied.

Lily turned sharply towards the door. As she eased it open, she was not surprised to see Rufus Humphrey standing there, his brown eyes boring into hers.

"Rufus. I'm late." Lily snapped, walking past him and towards her bed. Rufus immediately blocked her path.

"Did you think we were never going to talk about this?"

"Hmm, let's see. I think the five messages I left you offering to talk to you about it made my intentions pretty clear." She attempted to side step him, but he anticipated her movement and she was again blocked.

"I didn't want to do it over the phone."

"Well, I'm sorry, this isn't a good time."

"I don't _care _about whatever you have planned today. We're doing this now." Rufus replied, a dark undertone in his voice that Lily had only heard a few times in their time together.

"What did you want to say Rufus? Go ahead, tell me how horrible I am. I'm sure I've already come up with most of what you'd like to say."

"Why didn't you tell me about her?"

"My mother wouldn't allow it." Lily responded. "And I was scared to face you after what I had done to you."

Rufus waved this off. "That was then. Years ago. I mean now, in the present. We've been talking for the past two years pretty constantly. You were going to go away with me and try to figure things out. Why didn't you tell me then?"

"I didn't want to ruin what we had. I wanted us to _work _this time." Lily confessed, finding it hard to focus on Rufus's eyes.

"Bullshit."

"How dare you?! You don't have any idea what you're talking about."

"This isn't about any romantic notion of wanting us to work out. This is about you never wanting anyone to find out! Not your kids, not me, not anyone on the Upper East side..."

"Get out." Lily said, her voice cold as ice.

"No." Rufus argued, standing his ground in front of her. "You're going to admit to me, right here and now, that you hid our child from me because you were scared about what everyone would think. You wouldn't make Page Six with a scandal with some nobody from Brooklyn. That's all that matters to you people, isn't it?"

"You're right, Rufus. I didn't tell you about our baby because I was just so afraid of what all my friends would think. Not because it was painful for me to remember, or because I didn't know what _you _would think of me. Now please get out of my way. The reading of my late husband's will is this morning and I need to be there." Lily said with the same tone as before.

"This isn't over." Rufus warned.

"Sure it isn't, Rufus." Lily said with a dark look on her face.

Rufus let her pass silently, unable to fathom how his trip to check on the woman he loved had turned into a bitter fight that he couldn't see how to overcome. He obviously needed more time away from Lily than he thought, the mere sight of her had made it impossible for him to forget the pain, and the image of a baby girl with his eyes that had been haunting him for weeks.


End file.
